Pancha Ganapati Day 3

Some wonderful things happened today! A-chan succeeded in putting on her shoes all by herself for the first time. She also learned to climb up on her rocking unicorn all by herself after watching a friend do so. She'd never tried before cause I don't think she had any idea it was possible. We finally got to go see the Holiday Lights thingy at the park tonight. But the best part of all was having P, C and their girls come for a visit. We had a great time and A-chan did too! I tried another experimental recipe and it came out extremely yummy. I didn't really do anything for today's 'goal' as it was related to co-workers and professional relationships which don't apply in my case as a housewife and weaver. Although in some respects I suppose Ketu is a co-worker since he cleans all the catboxes and takes out the trash, all the icky stuff that I can't do. Hmmm. I made him a yummy dessert, does that count?

Another happening today was the cancellation of my family's holiday visit which I have mixed feelings about. I'm glad not to have them coming because A-chan and Ketu are still sick and she gets very upset and stressed around them. Warning: rant ahead. All the nice things that happened today were a very needed balm to the continued fighting between myself and my mother. She deliberately did something with A-chan today that I had specifically asked her not to do and given her reasons why I didn't want her to. Not only did she not respect my wishes but she tried to keep it a secret and then argued with me about it when I found out. And she wonders why we won't let her babysit?! When she won't even respect us enough to do as we ask about minor things, how can we trust her about larger things? My relationship with her was not exactly perfect before, but after I got pregnant it went downhill fast. It's like becoming a grandmother short circuited her brain or something. Another example: I mentioned on the phone last night that A-chan hadn't been eating well because she was sick, that she was only interested in eating raisins. This morning my mother had gone to the grocery store to buy citrus fruit that she knew A-chan liked to help her get well. I thought it a nice gesture and so agreed to let her drop it by. What confounded us was that she didn't just drop by, she stayed for over 2 hours! Didn't ask, just came in and took over. And then the incident I alluded to earlier happened. I got angry but was still civil. Ketu applauded my self-restraint.

The questions in my mind: Have any others had their mothers go bonkers when they became grandmothers? Am I just being too sensitive and should let it all go? Is it better to try and work things out or ignore things that make me mad...or is it more harmful to A-chan to continue the relationship without at least trying to stand my ground on important issues?

Vegetarian rant.

"Star Trek is boring, guys. Hey, what can I get into over here? Look at me, wheeee!"

This is going to be a vegetarian rant. Because we are vegetarians and I received an email today that made me feel very disappointed. And I worry about A-chan being a vegetarian child in the future and being discriminated against. Yes, I really did say discriminated against for being vegetarian. Not in any overt way - certainly nothing like asian americans or other ethnic ancestored people experience. (for examples of what i'm talking about visit Mama Nabi's Hwe blog or The Lotus Life blog) This is more of a 'gosh, vegetarians want to be able to come here and eat too, fancy that!' type of discrimination. An almost unconsious non-recognition of vegetarians and their lifestyle is way too common. Perhaps it's just that way here in Georgia, but come on - our town even has two dedicated vegetarian restaurants!

Let me get back to the point...I received an email today about the upcoming Burns Night Dinner. Last year we had worked with our scottish country dance group to create and host the Burns Night dinner: it was a potluck affair and very low key. We were delighted at the chance to join in the entertainment but be able to bring our own vegetarian renditions of old scottish dishes. (We were not the only vegetarians in attendance, either) This year's Dinner is a high-class affair ($25 a head) with authentic scottish dishes catered. I read the announcement about 3 times, hoping that "vegetarian alternatives available" might magically appear somewhere on the page. I feel...disappointed, left out, sad and discriminated against. I might feel a little different if the people involved had not been our friends for a while and knew last year how we felt at being able to enjoy Rabbie Burn's b-day celebration with everyone else. This year it seems that they deliberately didn't include anything vegetarian. of course, it probably isn't intentional, but more of the unconscious, "you wanted to come? but we're having haggis" attitude. Yes, we could go and spend $75 for all three of us. But if we're not eating any of the meal that's a pretty darned high price tag for a two hour gig.

I'm extremely sad about the whole thing. For a year I've been looking forward to going to this celebration. We had so much fun last year! And A-chan enjoyed the heck out of it last year. She loves bagpipes, she loves to see other men in kilts besides her da, she loved the dancing and the harps and the fun. And she won't get to enjoy any of it this year. What other things will she be unwelcome at in the future? Are we being bad parents for raising her vegetarian, against the grain of most of the populace of this country? Heck, you can get vegetarian food at Burn's Night celebrations in Scotland! But not here.

Okay, rant over :)

Sshhh, quiet.

Quiet storybook time after a busy day.

This was the first year we've ever participated in the Black Friday shopping madness. I found it interesting and invigorating. Ketu found it a bit tiresome, I think. But then he had to do the driving and the dealing with people who had no thoughts for others and had to have what they wanted now now now. A-chan just wanted to run around the store in delight. She enjoyed the tapestry throw with a dog on it at Best Buy very much. As always her squeaky shoes were remarked upon many times and got quite a lot of attention. One fellow remarked, "I heard it, I just didn't know what it was." They are so wonderful!! Several times she just took off on her own and we were able to track her down in the huge crowd within seconds.

It saddens me how people disregarded others so completely during the commercial extravaganza. (Not that I was that thoughtful myself as I ran around the store after A-chan) How are we parents supposed to teach our children about being nice to our fellow humans and politeness if there are so many rude people out there? I was under the impression that this was officially the beginning of the christmas season, but there was very little holiday spirit to be found other than perhaps greed. Again, it's not as though I was completely apart from the frenzy since we did go to the store for the same sale as everyone else...

On another level, however, we were quite apart from the crowds around us since we don't celebrate christmas. I've been reading a lot of blogs lately and come across some interesting ones that have a lot about being a minority in America. Although it is usually the case that a white person will be surrounded by other white people, that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't a minority. To be Hindu, particularly a celtic hindu, in a small southern town is to be alone albeit in a different way than minorities often face - unless I'm wearing a sari and bindi. I am hoping that our differences will be a good thing for A-chan and that she won't be ashamed of us, at least not for following our hearts in religion. We are worried that being set so apart from mainstream america will be difficult for her. I'm sure that will be a recurring issue here from time to time. :)